KILLING ANIMALS FOR JESUS

Because killing animals feels good, when a man's feeling bad. - - - - - - - GENESIS 9:2 "The fear of you and the dread of you will be on every animal of the earth, and on every bird of the sky. Everything that the ground teems with, and all the fish of the sea are delivered into your hand."

Thursday, January 19, 2006

click here..NRA Sets 2006 As Year Of Women As Target For Hunting

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This post is a transcript from the speech I gave at the NRA's Annual

"Man, Rifle, Make Man, Feel Strong !"
Conference which was held January 4, 3, 5, and then on the 4th again of 2006.

Here is where my deep robust voice echoes through the great halls of the Holiday Inn's basement conference room, in downtown Fresno CA as I address the faithful men who's lives will change forever as we all must now face the reality of allowing women to leave the home and then to allow them to actually see our desperation and fears when we are out in the woods.


"Good afternoon NRA members and Christian Warrior Association members. All of you men know that the pleasures of hunting is about more than just bringing down a deer, a duck, or whatever seems to be moving around in the bushes and trees ahead of you. It is, in many ways, about a spiritual experience felt from the homoerotic war we wage against ourselves, against our fathers and against the other men dressed up in matching colored camo fatigues. Its our own battle against the scary terror of what maleness is, and of course its about what the other guy imagines about our penis when its in the flaccid state (because thats when its at its most deceptive) and its about our relationship with the natural world.
Every hunter knows that what is buried deep down are the fears of our erections being tested and our failings as studs being exposed everytime we are confronted with the challenge of sexual conquest. And just the idea of having women around watching us face a real big buck will destroy a nice weekend of ritual male combat killing. Because women know those big bucks posses the ability for more potent, powerful, stronger and bigger erections than we human males.
Go here to get help with this issue....

If we don't begin to encourage women to come out and hunt now, we may lose our important, fun, killing pastime of joy, delight and security forever. And Ever! Because men, without hunting we lose the ability to demonstrate in homoerotic ways our manhoods.

To quote Aldo Leopold, the father of wildlife management: "There are two spiritual dangers in not hunting. One is the danger of supposing that dinner comes from food, and the other is that heat comes from something hot."

The truth is that the number of hunters is in decline. In 2004, only 10 million Americans enjoyed hunting, a 12 percent drop compared from 10 years ago.
We need to re-energize the sport by legalizing and welcoming new species to kill, like the slow moving box turtle and encouraging new participants like the human female woman. This is where the new NRA woman recruitment programs come in.
Now, without further delay I'm here today to introduce the 3 women who will help reverse the tide in hunting so that the dying tradition of killing animals will be around for us men and our sons and grandsons to have for dealing with male insecurities for generations to come.


First, we have the US Fish And Wildlife Services director of Wildlife Women Management the newest division at the agency...please welcome, the glamorous.....














Anita Lay!




Second, we are honored with the sexy woman who is going to help get the wives out of the kitchen (only for a few hours though) From Housewives for Jesus and a former Miss Kentucky Wild Boar Beauty Queen...............





And uhm.....how many is that? I lost count....
Oh, right and 3rd....
She's a real young hotty and a columnist for
Young Hot Lady Hunters
and yes ...my niece...............







Megan Mitch Suggs!


"By encouraging more women to come and kill animals we'll see the number of hunters increase rather than decrease. If we can just get some good looking women like these three up here we can also help end the image of the big fat crotch scratching angry redneck male hunter image that is snuffing out and putting an end to our love of shooting animals dead.
Everyone in this room has a contribution to make. Some of you just have to sit in your tree stands and accept it, some of you, (the few of you that dare) will have to think...and maybe even rethink whats more important. Keeping women in the home, (the way god demands) or bringing them out for killing animals in the nature.
Well, I believe along with the US govt federal aid program of 40 million dollars we can keep America's hunting heritage strong by making it more feminine.

I urge you to take a look at these new women and hunting success stories here for instance and as a hunter, and as a man, and as a warrior for Christ and as a participant in this conference, feel confident in bringing in the ladies. Its for our own good."

God Bless....

Rifle-manly Yours.....

Philbert Suggs

13 Comments:

  • At 10:51 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I had no idea how attractive the women who hunt are? the women that I've seen pictures of posing next to dead animals they have just killed are usually very homely. Maybe I should start volunteering at the women who hunt seminars. Who knows I might be able to meet a beautiful and kind gentle lady this way.

    Grover

     
  • At 7:58 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Not funny...not funny. You go ahead and make fun of jesus and hunting all you want but in the end everyone will answer to him.

    get a life you fag!!!

     
  • At 1:03 AM PST, Anonymous R.Blackford said…

    You should realize that making fun of americans who like to hunt is not funny. Why don't you spend sometime reading some of the anti gun comments made by the gun control folks. If you want to make fun that's an easy target those idiots are a real joke.
    Robert

     
  • At 7:55 PM PST, Anonymous sssmack said…

    It looks like philberts killin em...in more ways than was thought!
    Do it Philb!!
    The hunters seem to be able to dish it but can't take it.

     
  • At 6:30 PM PST, Anonymous Bill W said…

    I'm really trying to understand this blog. I saw you post on outdoorpundit.com and was thinking you were a man of God, but now I'm thinkig...I dont no what you are? You were speaking about God's great outdoors and the anxieties of men so I believed you were trying to spread the word.

    Not Sure what you are doing?

    In Christ,

    Bill W

     
  • At 12:24 PM PST, Blogger Helen Wheels said…

    Hyuk!

     
  • At 3:27 PM PST, Blogger Betty Jo Goering said…

    Hey why anonymous call you a fag? You obviously got a thang fer your neice, so you aint gay I'd say that's proof.

    I'm pretty and I hunt and I'm a lady. Specially possums cause they move so dang slow, they's like shootin crawdads in a bucket.

     
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